The Gluten Dream

We’ve all had it – The Gluten Dream. Mine was last night.

I was sitting in a cafe in Paris. I was eating a large french baguette with some lovely brie wrapped in puff pastry while drinking a Bud Light. Then I had a hamburger with a soft smushy bun that absorbed all of the juices from the lovely hamburger I was eating. Then, I was binge eating McDonald’s biscuits. I ate 4 of them!

Fat Celiac’s Dream last night

Yep, it was a lovely dream. It isn’t the first time I’ve had that dream and it probably won’t be the last. Sometimes the food changes, but it is always gluteny-goodness at its finest.

I don’t ever wake up scared of actually having eaten the gluten free items. I know the gluten free diet has permeated everything I think about. In the spring, I was helping my son plan for a Boy Scout camping trip. He was planning, shopping, and cooking all the meals for the trip. I had to remind myself that the boys CAN eat gluten and that I didn’t need to buy gluten free bagels for breakfast.

I got diagnosed with celiac in February of 2012. So, I’ve been gluten free for a really long time – not as long as some but longer than many. I still have these gluten filled dreams.

I don’t really remember how good “real” bread or cakes or muffins taste. I don’t remember their texture either. Each time I hand my husband some gluten free baked item and ask him if that is how real whatever tastes like. He smiles and says, “Do you want the truth or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?” At that point, I already know the answer. He will say something tastes good, but always says it doesn’t taste like the “real” thing.

My poor kids are so accustomed to my diet they don’t even ask to go places anymore. My daughter went to her grandmother’s for a weekend once. Her grandmother asked her where she wanted to go for lunch. Her 10-year old answer was, “Anyplace with gluten.” My house isn’t gluten free and we go to restaurants with gluten items on the menu. My children are not deprived. But each time we go out to a new place, the first thing I check is whether or not they have gluten free items. They know it and live it.

I guess what it really represents is freedom. A gluten free diet is restrictive in so many ways. We constantly have to be vigilant in protecting ourselves, because nobody else will. Gluten can sneak in even when we think we’ve done everything right.

I do pretty much whatever I want – I travel. I eat out. I don’t stress too much about where my next gluten free meal will come from but the concern is always there. Occasionally, I will make a mistake. I will ask the right questions, do everything right, and still get bitten by the gluten bug. When it happens, I flush the system with water, take some extra rest, and keep on going.

It is crazy that after 7+ years, I still have the gluten dream. I still think about gluten filled foods on occasion, but don’t miss them on the whole.

What’s your gluten filled dream?