Imagine – you are at an event where food is being served, like lasagna. Someone offers you the lasagna and you politely decline with no explanation. They look at you oddly and press, “It’s really good.” Again, you say no thank you, but more firmly this time. The next person comes along and offers the same lasagna. Annoyed, you say no thank you more aggressively almost to the point of rudeness. Then you feel bad because you were almost rude about not eating a food that would make you ill that you are perfectly justified in not eating.
It is hard. But I want you to remember one thing – they don’t live in our world. They live in their world where eating lasagna made by someone else is a pleasure. It is community and sharing and enjoying the hospitality of a friend. Rejecting that lasagna without explanation is an affront to social mores and norms they may hold dear.
In our world, that lasagna represents all the things we can’t do. Being repeatedly asked to participate in a social ritual that 97% of the world can enjoy, but we cannot. It is socially awkward and makes us repeatedly uncomfortable about rejecting the kindness. It represents the isolation and rejection our disease puts upon us.
These two worlds are separate, distinct, and sometimes unyielding. Sometimes these two worlds come together, when someone thinks of helping the gluten free folks out. Often we still don’t eat it because of the lack of knowledge of what is truly required to be gluten free, but nonetheless, the thought is appreciated. More often though, the worlds remain separate.
I think it is our job to educate, advocate, and try to bend the world to our needs. However, I often feel like I’m tilting at windmills in a never ending quest to make the world into someplace more accommodating to those of us with gluten issues.
Next time someone offers that gluten-filled lasagna for the third, fourth, or fifth time, don’t take out the frustration on them. They are inviting you into their world where we cannot go. Just say “No thank you” and know someday you may make it back to their world.
#celiac #glutenfree #celiacdisease #coeliac #celiacawareness #gluten #allergy #glutensensitive
