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Today is my son’s 12th birthday!! Yay. For his birthday, we take him out to his choice of restaurant. This is where my dilemma comes in.

He wants to go to a place where there is literally nothing on the menu for me to eat. I’m totally okay with this – I will go and not eat. I really want him to enjoy his birthday dinner and not have to worry about his dumb old mom’s stupid disease limiting where he can go. My disease limits where he can go so often that I want him to enjoy his birthday.

But my husband says that he needs to be considerate. My husband thinks he needs to find a place where I can eat too. There are several places that we can all eat together that are safe for me, so we could go somewhere else. Furthermore, my husband thinks he is old enough to start being considerate of other’s needs even when it is your birthday.

Also, the restaurant in question is Italian. I’ve been several times for a variety of reasons. They don’t have gf pasta. The salads are cross contaminated. There is literally nothing there. They will even tell you that they have nothing for me to eat. It’s okay and I’m not going to make a stand with this restaurant at this time. I normally just take my business elsewhere, but this time it is slapping me in the face. Furthermore, I’m not going to take in my own food. I can wait an hour to eat my dinner if I need to.

This is a tough one – At what point does your birthday trump other people’s needs? Or should he really be thinking of me for his birthday dinner? At what age do we start having our children think of other’s needs before their own? How selfish is it of me to even ask him to change his choice?

Anyway, that’s the dilemma. Any advice is welcome.

PS. – Still thinking about Nexvax. I don’t have anything new just yet.

4 responses to “Food Dilemma”

  1. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    I’d sneak in past the restaurant and hand them a bag of GF pasta and sauce! With a kind note saying how to prepare it.

  2. Bari Avatar
    Bari

    I’d probably have him pick somewhere else where you can all eat, with the promise to have his dad take for a one on one lunch or dinner to this restaurant. One of my kids has celiac – the others don’t. We always go as a family where we can all eat. If the one with celiac isn’t with us, the others get their choice without that limit.

  3. Laura Milner Avatar
    Laura Milner

    That is a tricky one! I think our Mama hearts are willing to make those sacrifices out of love. Philippians 2 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves,” and while I think we should teach that, encourage that, (at every age) but I don’t think we should force it. I don’t think it works that way. My 13yo daughter has gluten sensitivity and I have come to believe conventional wheat is not a healthy choice for any of us, so I have started to make gf foods much more often, and my other kids aren’t always thrilled about it. No shock there. This week, my now 10yo son had a birthday party and invited a friend with gluten issues. I checked with his mom and she okayed gf pizza but I was so proud of my boy because he willingly agreed for me to make his cake gluten free. I big risk, I must say! It turned out pretty yummy but it was touch and go there for a minute, haha! Love you Sister!

    1. FatCeliac Avatar

      You know that it is not recommended for people without celiac to be on a gluten free diet because of the inherent lack of fiber and B vitamins. Secondly, many people think they have gluten issues but really it is a FODMAP issue. Look into the low FODMAP diet by Monash University.

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